I've re-stumbled across an Ernest Hemingway quote that has always resonated with me, "When I'm not going good, I go off where I can be alone and work the fat off my soul the way a fighter goes up into the mountains to work and train and burn the fat out of his body. Being alone and loneliness are two different things. I'll be alone but I won't be lonely.". This when I first heard it did peak my interest, but for what reasons I do not know. This past week once I heard it again, I knew that it was a profound truth for my life. Anything that has ever been a profound realization to me, or refreshed my soul has been done in solitude. Not the heart breaking solitude of a once wild beast stolen from the wild and forced into a artificial habitat and left to rot away as a spectacle for class field trips, forever alone and placed into a life without purpose. Instead this solitude is one high on a plateau over looking the world and seeing it for what it truly is and how it truly operates, as I worked to better myself and carve out a place for myself in that world which I could now witness for all its glory and deficiencies.
To understand this ideal of Hemingway's I do believe you need to be a fighter, not even in the conventional sense is necessary. But perhaps just in the way that an eternal optimist is always fighting relentlessly for the best in any situation, and always seeing the light at the end and reaching and striving for that light. The existence of knowing that in any situation you will be ok, because you have a deep seeded confidence that is unshakable. That no matter what life throws at you, there is an answer deep within as long as you stay steady on your course you can get through anything.
To find this soul refreshing burning I have always had to put my physical body in pain. Running without a goal in mind and just letting your mind escape your body it's refreshing beyond explanation, your mind is free to deal with issues completely on its own because the rest of your fear or aggression is preoccupied with your running. This leads to some of my biggest life decisions and Its been so valuable to me. This is just one method though, alot of people also are able to sort through their issues with meditation or prayer and these are great options. I just choose to break myself down through exercise and find that my decisions feel like they rebuild my soul a leaner, tougher, and smarter individual.
Yes, Life is a much more difficult and trying test then you could ever imagine. There are so many more variables then you could ever account for in your life, they're countless. Even if you do your best to learn the variables that you can control and remain vigilant, you can't always account for those you bring into your life to love, whether their friends, wives or girlfriends, or eventually children they at some point will be wronged or in a situation that you can do nothing to control. This is an area where doing what you have to and not what you wish you could do is a necessary pain. These pains can only be cleansed by burning the fat from your soul and always striving to fight for the light and the end of each test.
-Joe Guess
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